Soapbox Diatribe

News News | Jun 2, 2023

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Every once in a while something or someone trips my "soapbox trigger" and I can't refrain from spouting off about it. The latest soapbox trigger is our government's esteemed "Climate Czar," none other than the the ultimate climate hypocrite — John Kerry.

What Kerry said that tripped my trigger was a bold statement that implied food producers — farmers and ranchers — are among the most egregious climate destroyers with all the carbon dioxide they spew into the atmosphere growing food. He stated that the goal of agriculture should be close to carbon zero as soon as possible.

Apparently, our Climate Czar doesn't realize that folks would opt to keep eating nutritiously over — uh, well, about anything. Next to clean water, good food is a close second in the great scheme of living critters — Homo Sapiens included.

Our Climate Czar intimated that livestock, particularly ruminants, need to go the way of the passenger pigeon. What Czar Kerry conveniently ignores is that ruminants are home to trillions upon trillions of all sorts of bacteria and micro-organisms that work 24 hours a day, for free, converting inedible grass into high-protein meat that enables meat-eaters to grow and stay healthy.

Here's two reasons every word that Czar Kerry utters about saving the planet from carbon dioxide is hypocritical. First, he travels the world in carbon-emitting private or government jet planes. Second, thanks to his marriage to the heiress to the Heinz ketchup fortune, he lives in several energy guzzling, multi-million dollar homes, some of which are on the ocean beach, which Czar Kerry states will soon be inundated by rising ocean levels.

So, until Czar Kerry quits eating and quits his personal energy indulgence in opulence, I’d suggest he button his hypocritical lip and that the rest of the world ignore his ignorance.

I’ll get off my soapbox now — with a target on my back.

***

The huge Flint Hills Rodeo in Strong City kicks off this evening. Sadly, Nevah and I won't be working the entrance gate like I’ve done for years, because Nevah's doc's advice is to stay cautious getting around on her walker and to stay off uneven ground. So, that puts the rodeo out.

However, it reminds me of a rodeo joke. A champion barrel racer was known to only wear one spur on her boot heels during the competition. Folks wondered why, but no one had the nerve to ask her why only one spur.

Finally, a young kid noticed and shouted out to the competitor, "Why do you wear only one spur?"

To which the on-horse lady grinned and replied, "Well, I figure when one side of my horse starts running, the other side will too."

***

I consider myself a fair to middling veggie gardener, but I’m not worth a hoot at growing melons, berries or fruit. But, there are some unfortunate folks who just don't seem to have a green thumb for gardening of any sorts.

One of those folks is my friend, ol’ Wilt Ed Leeves. He stopped by recently and the conversation turned to gardening.

After he’d related many of the gardening failures in his life, as he left Wilt said, "my garden is something that dies if I don't water it … and rots if I do."

***

Several of us old geezers were discussing and cussing the rate of inflation and the high cost of groceries.

One of ’em said, "The most expensive cut I’ve ever had was sirloin steak."

I piped up and added, "Tenderloin is the most expensive cut I’ve ever had."

The third wag grinned and ended the conversation with a laugh for us all by stating, "Well, guys, the most expensive cut I’ve ever had was a vasectomy."

***

Two middle-aged farmers with marital problems made each other's acquaintance at the local Dew Drop Inn bar and grill. As they commiserated with each other about their marital problems, the first guy divulged, "I have a joint checking arrangement with my wife. If I’m not home by 10 o’clock, she starts checking the joints."

The second farmer replies, "This is the second marriage for my wife. But, she is a good housekeeper. First guy she divorced, she kept the house. Looks as if she's gonna get to keep mine, too."

***

Well, I’ve got new home news. The contractor finished the footings and the foundation, Then he finished pouring the slab and the safe room. Right now it looks like I’ve got a real sturdy concrete dog house with a big concrete kennel. Hope they get started erecting the structure this week.

For those interested, Nevah keeps getting around more and more nimbly using her walker for support. So far, all good news from the rehab folks.

***

Words of wisdom for the week. "There are always two reasons for doing anything — a good reason and the real one." Have a good ‘un.

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